Magical Vampires
by momoParty
Summary: Harry Potter meets Edward Cullen and Bella Swan... What could possibly happen?
1. Tablecloth Color Swatches

"Ohhh! What about this color?" Alice squealed as she passed the swatch to Edward, who grinned and passed it to me. He seemed to be enjoying my torture.

"Alice," I said exasperatedly, "Do I really have to give my opinion on everything for the wedding if you already know what I'll think?"

She was so absorbed in her color swatches she didn't even glance up. "Well, I don't want you to be completely surprised," she stated in her singsong voice.

"Edward..." I groaned. I knew he would let us leave Alice to her planning if I pleaded, "_Please_?"

Edward stood up. "Alice, we have enjoyed spending the last four hours debating colors for tablecloths with you," he stated formally, "but we really should be going. It would be our pleasure to do it again soon."

I scoffed at his last sentence, but I didn't have time to complain because before I finished rolling my eyes, he had swept me up and we were running. Edward was smirking.

"Why do you make me do that?" I asked, annoyed.

"I didn't make you do anything. You agreed to let Alice plan the wedding, Bella. This just comes attached." he replied.

"No," I pouted and turned away from his gaze, "I agreed to let _her_ plan the wedding. I did not agree to being forced to look at tablecloth color swatches all day."

Edward just smiled and set me down in the grass of our meadow. I crossed my legs and occupied my fingers with making a crown of flowers.

"You could just tell her," Edward told me as he sat down across from me.

"But I don't want to hurt her feelings," I replied frowning.

"Then I-"

Suddenly there was a loud popping sound from the center of the meadow. In an instant, Edward was crouched in front of me.

**Author's Note:**

**I know this chapter is pretty short... this story will probably be pretty short too... (I have an increadibly short attention span when it comes to writing)**

**READ AND REVIEW por favor! (candies to my peeps)**

**And the title is pretty lame... if you have a better idea _please_ tell me! :D**


	2. Creepy Muggles

**Disclaimer: (Although I didn't put one in the last chapter... oh well) I am not Stephenie Meyer. If I was, I wouldn't be writing this, I would be writing Breaking Dawn and forcing my publishers to make the release date earlier. Also, I am not J.K. Rowling, because if I was then I would have much better things to do than think up more ways to get more money. Therefore, I own neither Twilight nor Harry Potter. (sob)**

**Author's Note (IMPORTANT):**

**To those who haven't read Harry Potter (or Twilight for that matter): I wouldn't suggest you continue reading. It would be totally confusing and you would be like "...??" So, go find a different story. Sorry.**

**To those who have read Harry Potter: I hope you enjoy this chapter! I was going to tell it in Edward's point of view, or maybe Bella's, but I decided to do it from Harry's. It would make more sense really.**

**And if you didn't think the last chapter was funny, neither did I. The rest of the story is just going to be silly. Maybe you'll think it's funny, maybe not. (And remember, it's Harry's POV in this chapter) So, without further ado...**

**&**

What the hell?! I looked around. There was no sun to warm my face, only rain clouds. Quite different than the sunny weather it had been in Godric's Hallow a second ago. A breeze rustled the grass and flowers around my feet. How did I end up in a meadow with-

I spotted two people near the edge of the weird meadow. They were clearly muggles. An extremely pale boy with golden eyes stared at me intensely. Confusion was written all about his face. I looked beyond him at the small girl peeking around his shoulder. Her dark hair covered her face, which was scared and confused also. Her dark eyes grew as my gaze fell upon her. She looked rather like Romilda Vane, I thought in disgust. Just then, the boy stood up straight and walked towards me. Frustration had overcome his confusion and now he just looked mad.

"Who are you and why have you come here?" the muggle boy asked me rudely.

This close, I could see him more clearly. He was muscular, obviously so, and I had never seen anyone so... pale and perfect. His golden eyes pierced mine. It was as if he could hear what I was thinking... but that was crazy.

Feeling startled, I decided to just hightail it back to Godric's Hallow, away from these weird muggles. I grasped my wand tightly, making sure it was still there, but before I could even start to turn, the boy whipped my wand out of my hand.

Suddenly, I was laying on the ground. What the hell? How did I get on the ground? I needed to apperate out of there, _now_. And I needed to get my wand back. There was some creepy feeling that boy gave me, like I couldn't hide my secrets.

I looked up at the creepy muggle boy and sat up. He glared at me like I was a psychotic murder. The girl stood in the same place, but she was now looking questioningly at the boy. She was rather pretty actually, now that I could really see her. If that boy, who was obviously her boyfriend considering they had been alone together in the meadow at such close proximity, hadn't been there I might have flirted with her a little.

As soon as I thought that, I was slammed back down onto the ground. It must have been the muggle boy, since that was the only logical explanation to me randomly being shoved onto my back.

I guess I did deserve that though. I already had Ginny.

Suddenly the boy's expression changed. He smiled and spoke warmly, "Could you stay here for one minute please?" I was taken aback from his surprisingly persuasive voice and polite grin. It was such a contrast from the intimidating rudeness before, I didn't answer immediately.

He took my stunned silence as a yes. "Thank you," he grinned and walked over to the girl, taking her hand. They disappeared into the green forest.

Damn. He still had my wand.

**&**

**Yay! Another chapter! I know, still short. That'll probably not change for the rest of the chapters unless I have some random burst of inspiration to write a super duper long chapter. And, yes, still not really funny.**

**Reviewers! Hooray! (tosses out candies) I probably won't continue this story if no one reads it. So, even if it's just like: 'I read it. Continue please.' or 'yay!' or anything else, it's motivation! More candies to come!**

**I still think the name of this story is L-A-M-E. _Please_ tell me if you have an idea. It would be very much appreciated.**

**I hope you liked it!!**

**P.S. The next chapter will most likely be from Bella's point of view.**


	3. Decisions

**Ello again! A few notes at the end... I know I don't like to read tons of authors notes before I read the next chapter and I'm pretty sure most people agree. **

**So, this chapter is from Bella's point of view. It might not be very good since I'm not terrific at writing vampires other than Edward...**

**&**

"Umm, Edward, what are we doing?" I asked hesitantly after he safely set me down on his living room couch.

He looked at me, then to the long stick in his hand that he had taken from the stranger. "I don't know yet," It was clear that he was frustrated.

As Carlile and Emmett entered the room (the girls and Jasper were away on a hunting trip) he turned to address them, setting the stick on an expensive-looking glass coffee table with obvious distaste. He quickly explained the scene in the meadow, his lips moving so fast and his voice so low I couldn't even make out the words. When he finished, everyone looked bewildered.

"What should we do?" Edward asked.

This shocked me. Why should we do anything? It's not our business, really. Can't we just lave this crazy person alone? Before I could say a word though, Edward seemed to have read my thoughts.

"We can't let him just saunter around our town, Bella. He could be dangerous. From what he was thinking, I could tell he's obviously some kind of a psycho-maniac." he tried to explain to me.

I still looked unconvinced. "Bella, he believes that he is a wizard. And this," he gestured at the stick on the table, "is his _wand_."

From the look in his eyes, I could tell he wasn't joking. This man honestly thought he was a wizard. Now that was obviously insane, and I'd seen more than my fair share of insane. "I still don't see how this is our problem."

"Do you know what will happen if mysterious murders start to appear in Forks? Do you know who everyone would blame?" Edward sounded slightly annoyed at my incomprehension, but I could tell he was trying not to be condescending.

I could see his point there... if people began to randomly get injured, kidnapped, or murdered, the small population of Forks would have no problem blaming the suspiciously clean records of the strange Cullen brothers and sisters. That would put a bit of a damper on the wedding... but no. Postponing a wedding wouldn't get me what I wanted. Therefore, no rampaging psychiatric escapees anytime soon.

Edward saw the comprehension on my face. He smiled and turned expectantly to Carlile and his brother. Emmett grinned suggestively and flexed but the look on Edward's face sent him into thoughtfulness again.

I felt unhelpful as I sat at watched them discuss, inaudible to my human ears. I decided to try and contribute, "We could just ask him to leave...?" I offered, unsure.

Emmett laughed, "See, I'm not the only one who thinks simply!" he pointed out to his family, "No offense, Bella." he added sincerely, though still chuckling, after Edward shot him a look.

Carlile glanced out the window. I followed his gaze to see a dark sky with pouring wind. From the look of the green-gray blurs of trees swaying mightily, I concluded that it was very windy. Was the weather up in the meadow as nasty as it was here? It probably was worse. I felt bad for the guy stuck out there. Even if he was a psycho-murder.

"Edward, I think we should go greet our guest an invite him to the refuge of our home. I assume he's still trapped up on that meadow?" Carlile suggested, but we all knew it was more of an order.

"Alright, then." Edward said firmly and stood up.

"Wait, wait. Why are inviting an insane person to dinner?" Emmett questioned.

"Emmett, we're just assuming he's insane," Edward responded as he lifted me into his arms, "And maybe he really is a wizard."

"With all my wondrous luck, he probably is." I grumbled. Edward might have been joking but I wasn't.

**&**

**Another chapter down! Honestly, I thought this was going to be a short four chapter little story but... I'm not nearly done.**

**I'm getting desperate here! If you have ANY suggestions for the title of this story, ANY AT ALL, I would be sooo happy to hear them. Even if they're stupid, uncreative, whatever. As I said, I'm desperate. **

**There were more reviews today! Hooray! (showers everyone in sweethearts even though it's April) Just to let you know, the more reviews there are, the more motivated I am to continue. The more motivation I have, the faster I write. The faster I write, the faster I update. So if you wanna know what happens next, REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!**

**Also, if you have any questions or comments about the story, I'd be ecstatic to hear them!!**

**Hugs!! Hope you enjoyed it!**


	4. The End

Again, we were flying through the forest. I thought about the stranger in the meadow. Would he still be there, or would he have popped back out of existence again? Why was he here? Had my bad luck brought more thought-to-be-nonexistent magic to Forks?

We slowed to a walk and Edward swung me off his back. He gazed at me intently with those smoldering, persuasive golden eyes of his. "Bella," he whispered, "please don't say anything, and try not to look so... afraid. I won't let him hurt you. He's only human."

He lead me back through the shrubs lining the meadow and into the violent rain and howling winds of the storm. Thank god Edward's vision was more than twenty-twenty, I couldn't see anything through the downpour.

Edward frowned. "Come on, Bella." He said as he walked closer to me and lead be back into the shelter of the forest.

We began to walk, slowly because of my clumsiness, away from the clearing. I stumbled over a mud-covered tree stump and stuck out my hands to brace the impact. But of course, Edward's stone cold arms wrapped around my waist before I reached the disgusting ground. He held me close and chuckled into my ear, "Bella, Bella... You really should at least _try_ to be more careful. I'm starting to think this whole clumsiness act is just a trick so that I can catch you every time you trip."

I could hear and feel his smile as he picked me up so I couldn't endanger myself any more. "You don't have to catch me, you know."

"Actually, I do. Now, shh." He hugged me closer for a second and then set me down.

We stepped around a huge, moss coated tree and there I saw the stranger again. He was pacing between two large oaks muttering something about a "stupid spell" and someone named Jenny.

"Excuse me," Edward spoke out, trying to to surprise him, I guessed. "But would you like to come to the shelter of our home until you can find your way home?" Though his face was a mask of friendliness and innocence, I could tell Edward did not like this idea.

The stranger stopped pacing and stared at us. "Urm... alright. Thank you very much." He approached us cautiously.

Edward looked as if he was concentrating extremely hard in order to be nice. "It's our pleasure. I'm Edward and this is Bella."

The stranger's eyes glanced once at Edward and then skittishly landed on me. He didn't look at Edward when he introduced himself. "Nice you meet you two. I'm... Barney."

For a second, Edward's eyes flashed with suspicion. "Nice to meet you also,_ Barney_. Please follow us. The weather here is quite temperamental."

We began to walk down the mountain. It was extremely slow going because of my almost-handicap and the torturous rain wasn't helping anything. The farther we went, the more awkward it became between us and the stranger. Finally, Edward said something.

"So, Barney," he said the name sarcastically, "Where are you from? It doesn't look like you're dressed for this weather." Indeed, it was true. The clock he was wearing was sodden and he looked dinosaur-like in his movements, thanks to his heavy clothing.

"I'm from... California."

Edward growled so that only I could hear. I knew that was a lie, also. I was pretty sure people in California didn't walk around in heavy clocks. "California... so how did you end up here?" Edward was obviously skeptical.

By now we had stopped and 'Barney' was looking back and forth from me to Edward, terror in eyes when he saw Edward's expression. He started to back away, frightened. "I-" he fell over backwards and got the wind knocked out of him.

Edward's fist were clenched into fists and he looked menacing. "You what?"

'Barney' looked like he was staring at the devil himself. "I fe-fell. Ou-out of an air-airplane."

Edward lost it.

**xxx**

So, Edward broke the treaty and the Cullens had to move to Maine. Bella went with them, of course, and they bought a nice big farm house on a hundred acres of land and the closest neighbor was a mile away. Harry never returned to the magical world and Voldemort poofed back into existence and took over everything. He discovered the vampires and they killed him because he was evil and all. Then, the Volturi took over the world. Oh, and Edward and Bella got married and Bella got changed where she got every super power imaginable. Everyone lived happily ever after. Then End.

**xxx**

**I know I said I wasn't nearly done before, but I wasn't then. I had an ending but then I realized it was really suckish and boring so I threw it away and wrote this one. So that's it. I know it's short, but I have about the attention span of a three year old. Maybe if I get really bored a few weeks or months from now, I'll write an alternate ending or something. But there is a very slim chance of that happening.**

**R&R, my darlings! Thanks for reading! tosses out free mineral water Hooray!**


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